“Humans
are actually hybrids, who emerged as
an offspring of a male pig and a female chimpanzee.”
Dr
Eugene McCarthy — one of the world's leading authorities on hybridization in
animals from the University
of Georgia has suggested that humans didn't evolve from just apes but was a
backcross hybrid of a chimpanzee and pigs.
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Well,
it does explain how the sacred trait of “chauvinistic piggyism” is successfully
carried by the male human; however, it does raise some pertinent {Come on, do I
appear to be so unimaginative to discuss the rather gross genital disharmony
(wrt a sperm loitering down a downright hostile alien canal to woo a non-cooperative
native egg) and gamete incompatibility here} logistical issues.
Although
it’s rare, but an occasional “inspired” monkey is known to come down from his arboreal loft to bugger an unsuspecting goat, but question is -- how exactly
does a female chimpanzee entice a sadomasochistic boar?
By
nature, pigs look down on everything (remember the wrinkled nose?), they are
built (aerodynamics,:-) necessity and intention –wise) to never look up (Babe was an
exception (alright!), and a confused pig by all means, and exceptions do not
disprove a rule—they rather improve it). So a male pig stalking a female Chimp
is quite out of the question. Alternatively, a female Chimp trying to lure a
male Boar would only invite prompt DBE, i.e death by evisceration (read Inferno
by Dante Alighieri for detail). Therefore, although a male chimp getting the better of a
female pig from behind is plausible, the odd to the opposite scenario has to be
one in a phenomenallion.
Based
on this elementary difficulty, it appears that a “missing link” is literally
missing here, despite the prejudiced lot of evolutionary biologists’ apathy to
the poor term.
I
believe, we are looking at the possible existence of quite a potent mediator at
the scene, a PIMP to be exact. And when we talk about a missing PIMP, Watson,
anyone could be a suspect—so who the devil was it? A “Pushy chIMP”, or a “Palatability
Interfering Malicious Potato”—that is the question.
